Have you ever stepped back and realized that a good portion of the time we react in the same old predictable way to those irritating things in life- "an uncooperative child or parent, a coworker's decision, a friend's broken commitment, or most tragically, a missed three-foot putt?" As Crum labels it we are on "automatic", living each NEW day the same way we lived yesterday; with the same ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. "We become so unconsciously competent in reproducing the same old unhealthy patterns of behavior, that the rut deepens, every day's the same old day, same old people, same old attitude." We are living everyday with same feelings, thought process, and attitude, but expecting a different outcome. This leads to disappointment because how can you expect the outcome to be different, if your actions and intention is the same? That's like learning to ride a bike and you fall, but keep doing the same action that led you to fall, but expecting a different result. This is also the definition of insanity. No wonder people are so stressed and irritated with how their life is going, they are pushing themselves to insanity; Thinking that their actions are not the issue but the people around them are the reasons for their disappointment.
Thomas Crum talks about a personal story in this chapter about him speaking to a group of 800 alienated kids that had either quit or had been thrown out of high school. "With pounds of chains clanging, black leather creaking, and cynical eyes checking me out, they let me know that the average lecture wasn't going to cut it....They were not into philosophy, they were into survival." These kids were labeled by school and society as failures. These kids believed, and accepted this label and felt that anger and rebellion was their only recourse. But what Crum thought was crucial for them to know was the basics of survival, true strength and power, and calmness under pressure. "I explained that those skills required a mind and body that worked together- an integrated mind-body state... They witnessed a demonstration of power and resolution with neither side being harmed." Their reaction to this lecture was not what was expected from a group of "misfits", they were "coloring outside the lines" They didn't leave right after lecture was over they stayed, asked questions and were intrigued. Crum described them as "courageous, eager, and special." He was inspired.
Life is change. Change means to color outside the lines. "Events that shake up our beliefs and perspectives happen to each of us, but too often we miss the opportunity to step outside the rigid lines of thinking." The reason we resist change is because we view the situation as threatening to our comfort zone, and react by clinging to what we know. But by resisting, we lose energy, by moving forward, we gain energy. In difficult situations we usually react with flight, flee, or freeze. The martial art of Aikido offers this idea of flow that translates to our daily life, Aikido employs three principles: Acknowledge, Accept, and Adapt. Acknowledge is to be aware of a conflict you have and understanding your feelings toward this conflict. But to also appreciate the other side's feelings and view without labeling and judging them as good or bad. This is something society did to the rejected teenage kids, labeling them as failures, but not understanding there side of the story. Not knowing the reasons behind their decisions that led them to having this label. Accept is to show the other side that you want to work out the solution. Taking responsibility for being a part of this conflict, and that all sides are in this equally. This ties into the first paragraph, living everyday the same but expecting a different outcome, leading to disappointment, and blaming society for the outcome. Life and relationships are a two way street, it is not only one side to blame. Refusing to see this leads to peoples insanity. Adapt is to be willing to change and being open to new ideas. Able to consider all solutions without judgement. The teenagers that were labeled as "failures" were the ones that wanted to learn more about what Crum taught in his lecture, coloring outside the lines and being open to the solution Crum had. It's interesting to see that the "failures" were the ones open to change instead of the straight A student. We label people after one mistake or by what we see from the outside due to our own insecurities, and pre accusations we make before understanding the person or situation. Your life will consistently be disappointing if you never evolve or see each day as a new day with a new outlook. Life will lead you to insanity if you refuse to understand that you are the reason your day is good or bad, you are the that is in charge of your life, don't blame others for the outcome, because you are part of the conflict.
"Ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same; the lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush or into the brush... Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use." -Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda)
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