Fear transformed into Power

"To center is to embrace the tiger of our fear and return to the mountain of our higher self- connected, joyous, and aware." -"Embrace Tiger Return to Mountain" 

Modern science teaches that evolution and transformation can arise out of chaos. Chemist  Ilya Prigogine, challenged the scientific world with his disequilibrium theory. "When a molecule's implicate (existing) order starts to fall apart, the entity faces a moment of choice, the 'bifurcation point.' It can either go out of existence, or reorganize itself at a higher level to accommodate the new variables." Basically either change or die. Which you would think would be easy for humans to choose. As Crum describes it "understanding this chaos theory, it's easy to see why we often need to get lost in order to learn something new." But there's an important step to this, confusion. Confusion enables us to get centered, to give up trying to control the universe, and enter this realm of discovery. 

Intuition. "The ability to acquire knowledge without inference and/or the use of reason." Intuition is like a Mosquito,  as Crum describes it. "Intuition often flies directly in the face of the rationale of the moment, asking us to shift gears or change direction, which usually means confronting somebody or something making life more uncomfortable for all concerned." What does this mean? Well as humans our tendency is to avoid discomfort, by using guilt, or fear of losing approval, to "swat" the annoying feeling out of the way. "Why is it that it's usually after we are picking ourselves up from the bottom that we finally recognize the power of intuition?" 

"Without a jot of ambition left I let my nature flow where it will. There are ten days of rice in my bag, and by the hearth, a bundle of fire wood. Who prattles of illusion or nirvana? Forgetting the equal dusts of name and fortune, listening to the night train on the roof of my hut I sit at ease both legs stretched out." -RYOKAN 

When paralyzed with fear, you are basically stuck in time. 
F.E.A.R
Fantasy 
Experienced
As
Real 
In fear you are trapped this illusion of time, between anxiety about something that might happen AKA the future, and something that you perceived did happen AKA the past. To deal with fear we must go into a place where fear isn't- The Present. Sounds crazy, but the present is where you are fully aware, fear no longer paralyzes you, making you able to respond appropriately with Power and Grace. The key factors to center are- Breathing, Seeing, Feeling. Center increases your awareness of how your fear is reflected in your body. Breathing relaxes the area you feel tension from your fear. To develop this awareness you have to ask yourself certain questions. "Where am I carrying this fear- my throat, stomach, neck, knees? Analyze it specifically- How big is it? What is its intensity on a scale of one to five? What color is it?" These questions heighten your awareness, your fear shifts, the tension within your body dissipates. Moving away from the future and past, and move into the present. 

Have you noticed that every problem, or wall that blocks us from our center is due to our obsession of time. Whether it be the time on the clock or the past, present, future. It is the base of all our reasons to hold back and be reserved. It is the easy excuse we make for things we are too scared to accomplish. 

Automatic Living with No New Meaning

"But how soon we forget those precious moments of center in the chaos of our lives- the phone calls, the latest body ache, the need to defend our position on every topic in the known universe. What we need, of course, are more learning experiences, forcing us to color outside the lines." -Journey to Center, Thomas F. Crum 

Have you ever stepped back and realized that a good portion of the time we react in the same old predictable way to those irritating things in life- "an uncooperative child or parent, a coworker's decision, a friend's broken commitment, or most tragically, a missed three-foot putt?" As Crum labels it we are on "automatic", living each NEW day the same way we lived yesterday; with the same ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. "We become so unconsciously competent in reproducing the same old unhealthy patterns of behavior, that the rut deepens, every day's the same old day, same old people, same old attitude." We are living everyday with same feelings, thought process, and attitude, but expecting a different outcome. This leads to disappointment because how can you expect the outcome to be different, if your actions and intention is the same? That's like learning to ride a bike and you fall, but keep doing the same action that led you to fall, but expecting a different result. This is also the definition of insanity. No wonder people are so stressed and irritated with how their life is going, they are pushing themselves to insanity; Thinking that their actions are not the issue but the people around them are the reasons for their disappointment. 

Thomas Crum talks about a personal story in this chapter about him speaking to a group of 800 alienated kids that had either quit or had been thrown out of high school. "With pounds of chains clanging, black leather creaking, and cynical eyes checking me out, they let me know that the average lecture wasn't going to cut it....They were not into philosophy, they were into survival." These kids were labeled by school and society as failures. These kids believed, and accepted this label and felt that anger and rebellion was their only recourse. But what Crum thought was crucial for them to know was the basics of survival, true strength and power, and calmness under pressure. "I explained that those skills required a mind and body that worked together- an integrated mind-body state... They witnessed a demonstration of power and resolution with neither side being harmed." Their reaction to this lecture was not what was expected from a group of "misfits", they were "coloring outside the lines" They didn't leave right after lecture was over they stayed, asked questions and were intrigued. Crum described them as "courageous, eager, and special." He was inspired. 

Life is change. Change means to color outside the lines. "Events that shake up our beliefs and perspectives happen to each of us, but too often we miss the opportunity to step outside the rigid lines of thinking." The reason we resist change is because we view the situation as threatening to our comfort zone, and react by clinging to what we know. But by resisting, we lose energy, by moving forward, we gain energy. In difficult situations we usually react with flight, flee, or freeze. The martial art of Aikido offers this idea of flow that translates to our daily life, Aikido employs three principles: Acknowledge, Accept, and Adapt. Acknowledge is to be aware of a conflict you have and understanding your feelings toward this conflict. But to also appreciate the other side's feelings and view without labeling and judging them as good or bad. This is something society did to the rejected teenage kids, labeling them as failures, but not understanding there side of the story. Not knowing the reasons behind their decisions that led them to having this label. Accept is to show the other side that you want to work out the solution. Taking responsibility for being a part of this conflict, and that all sides are in this equally. This ties into the first paragraph, living everyday the same but expecting a different outcome, leading to disappointment, and blaming society for the outcome. Life and relationships are a two way street, it is not only one side to blame. Refusing to see this leads to peoples insanity. Adapt is to be willing to change and being open to new ideas. Able to consider all solutions without judgement. The teenagers that were labeled as "failures" were the ones that wanted to learn more about what Crum taught in his lecture, coloring outside the lines and being open to the solution Crum had. It's interesting to see that the "failures" were the ones open to change instead of the straight A student. We label people after one mistake or by what we see from the outside due to our own insecurities, and pre accusations we make before understanding the person or situation. Your life will consistently be disappointing if you never evolve or see each day as a new day with a new outlook. Life will lead you to insanity if you refuse to understand that you are the reason your day is good or bad, you are the that is in charge of your life, don't blame others for the outcome, because you are part of the conflict. 

"Ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same; the lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush or into the brush... Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use." -Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda)

"Am I Right or Am I Wrong?"

"The key is letting go of what you think you know. How much of all there is to know in the universe do you know? Since we all know that the percentage is infinitesimally small, why spend so much time and energy trying to be right about so little." 

-Journey to Center, Thomas F. Crum

In our society we are told that we need to be perfect, as Thomas Crum calls it the "Perfection Syndrome". Basing our traits on trying to be perfect yields our ability to discover; our self-esteem, performance, and how we compare models depends on the opinions of others. Leading us to feel this need to perform at a certain level in order to feel okay about ourselves. This whole idea of being perfect blocks our discovery process, that was originally intact when we were born. Our need to discover and not worrying about others gave us the ability to learn. "Self-esteem based upon performance or a model leaves you focused on the outer world and appearance". This constant concern about having to always be perfect begins to make you feel that you are just a bug underneath a magnifying glass. Making you hesitant about stepping out fully into life.

Think about it, when you watch a little kid who falls they laugh and do it all over again; but when a 12 year old falls their cheeks turn red, and feel embarrassed. Because to them that fall demonstrates failure; due to societies outlook on what is right and wrong. But the fall isn't a demonstration of failure it is a way for you to realize that way didn't work, and to try another way, making you more knowledgable over what works and what doesn't. We spend so much time worrying about failing in front of others or not succeeding the first time, that we forget those wrongs make you find out the right. Thomas Edison for instance, was interviewed by a young reporter who asked Edison if he felt like a failure, he replied with "Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp." After over 10,000 attempts Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. Our world is constantly changing which means Societies idea of "right" is always changing. So why would you try to be "perfect" if it's never consistent, you will always lose. The great leaders that we learn in history class all have something in common, they didn't conform, they didn't care about what the opinions of others were. For the most part people thought of them as failures, or crazy, but if it wasn't for them we wouldn't have some of the most critical things in our society.  Under the "Perfection Syndrome" you tend to go against change, trying to control your environment instead of working with it, just to avoid failure. In the end no matter how successful your life looks on the "trophy shelf" you end up being stressed and burned out. Nothing will ever make you feel accomplished because you're living your life for others rather than yourself.  

"Peak Performance" is when you are able to reach out and discover, using the natural essence of self. The natural essence of self is creativity, inquiry, and aliveness. This is what you should base your life on. Operating from these qualities, rather than perfection where you ask yourself whether you are right or wrong, you ask "what can I learn? What am I feeling? What value am I adding?". These questions lead you to be "Fascinated with the outcomes of your actions. and that fascination gives birth to the key to peak performance- awareness." Such as when a child is learning to walk. Living this way makes you secure in yourself, strengthening your center. The point of living is to learn and grow, and to appreciate what the world has to offer and what you can contribute in response. 

"By being open to discovery, you are taking a courageous step toward resolution."